Ever felt anxious or angry, rejected or criticized, stressed or lonely? Of course you have, no one escapes emotional pain. It's an inevitable fact of life.
Knowing that in your head, and dealing with it when it crashes through your front door, are two different things. Whether the pain is associated with a trauma, a loss, or a disappointment, the only way to powerfully move forward is to deal with it. So, how can you best deal with challenging emotions?
I've experienced so much chaos and trauma in my own world that I can solidly say that ‘coping with emotional pain‘ is not the way. It's much better to dance with it! It is SO much more delicious to harness the power of those overwhelming tsunamis when they come through to clean house.
It's obvious that painful emotions are difficult. [And if you're among the 20-30% of highly sensitive individuals in the population, you experience things more intensely, and therefore find it particularly difficult to play with these puppies.]That's why for a very long time I pushed them down, ignored them, even dismissed them. “Be gone you wretched wreck!”
Whether you try to numb them with your distraction of choice (booze, sex, drugs, TV, shopping, ‘love', etc.) or choose to isolate and ignore, they're not going anywhere. Emotions are here for a reason.
Rejection, loneliness, and loss are painful experiences caused, in part, by our need for strong connections with others and to fully experience life. Loss and trauma can shatter your world, your relationships and especially your identity. The experience of loss also shatters your assumptions about the world. All of these excruciating emotions are actually a clearing house to get rid of the old and bring in the new … the new YOU!
Pain is real, but suffering is optional. Say that again. Pain is real, but suffering is optional. Here's how to own the powerhouse of your emotions to bring into being a more powerful you:
1. Observe your emotions. Sit with your emotions. Name them, without making yourself wrong or bad for feeling them. Watch them unfold, as if they were being acted out on the big screen. (If this is still difficult for you, slow down the speed. This gives you more processing time.) The act of witnessing shifts the power back to you. You are no longer at the mercy of emotions.
2. Acknowledge your emotions. Claim your emotions. Accept them. “I'm feeling sad.” “I'm feeling angry.” Don’t judge your emotions, and trigger your default programming to avoid pain. If you've been pushing down your emotions for quite some time you may have to do a little more to claim them. Sometimes you need to cry, yell and stomp out those feelings. Own your emotions, but don't wallow in them.
3. Experience the energy of the emotion. Emotions are energy in motion. Allow yourself to expand into the emotion and experience it as pure energy. Take off the label of the emotion and experience it directly. When you do this two things happen: (1) You realize the emotion won't annihilate you (even though it feels possible) and (2) You get the gift of the emotion, the message it's trying to convey. There's a gift of awareness in the emotion. You'll get it in the next step.
4. Focus on the present. Bring your awareness to this moment. The quickest way to do that? Focus on the in-flow and out-flow of your breath. A curious thing occurs when you are present, you are able to pull the curtain back on the emotions and glean their gifts. There is something in you seeking a shift. You now know what it is.
When you learn to dance with your emotions, instead of being dictated by them, there is flow and movement in your world. There is acceptance, without approval. A portal to evolution opens and you step through it.
There is nothing negative about feeling so deeply. On the contrary, it is a super power. The sooner you learn to wield your power, the sooner you get to shift your world and life becomes a glorious playground. Let's play!
PS Ready to glean the gifts of your powerful emotions?
I grew up Catholic and am well versed on the specters of guilt and shame and the power of forgiveness. But unlike the lightness of absolution for one's sins, self forgiveness is sometimes a more arduous journey. It's filled with remorse and should have, would have, could have. It's ALL in the past, where you have no power.
The adventure of self forgiveness can also be one of discovery, wonder and joy. It can be a world of inspiration and insights, awareness and activation. You get to choose which world to inhabit. Which shall it be?
Here is one shift that can put your world into a positive tailspin right now: Reclaim your energy from the ‘hurts' you've experienced. Don't know how to do it?
How to Reclaim Your Energy Through Self Forgiveness:
This is a simple energy exercise that can help you reclaim the energy you might have given to beliefs and ideas about yourself that aren't really true:
It's easy to slip into judgment and point the finger at someone who's hurt you and make them wrong for it. Sometimes the perpetrator is you. Often the harshest treatment is reserved for your own lapse of light.
This being human gig takes practice. We are prone to make mistakes. It's how we learn. In order to create the amazing life that you know is possible you need to be willing to step into an active role as the architect of your world. It is in the claiming of your own creative power that self forgiveness can occur.
Self forgiveness is a tool that corrects perception. It reawakens your true sense of self and naturally and easily rights your world. Notice how good it feels to forgive. The heavy burden is lifted and you are restored to rightness and lightness.
Life is full of opportunities for self forgiveness, and it's crucial for your evolution. It actually changes your DNA.
The act of self-forgiveness changes the energy and physical structures of your cells, and of your DNA. Guilt is a very powerful and deadening emotion. Guilt in itself can, as it were, close down the energy systems of your body, and thereby lessen, and in extreme cases, cut off the flow of Divine Energy and Love to the body entirely. Because each and every one of your cells has consciousness, they too can carry the essence and energy of guilt within them that makes their energy denser.
~ John Payne
Now, more than ever, is a perfect time to lighten up, especially with your own lapses of light.
Here are 3 ways to move through self forgiveness:
1. Feel your feelings, but don't hold onto them. We all experience negative feelings: anger, fear, resentment. Welcome feelings, but then release them. The worst thing you can do is put those feelings on instant replay. It will only attract more of the same stuff. Let it in, then let it go. Feelings are part of the human experience. Allow them to inform you, not immobilize you.
2. Envision the Possible You. Especially during darkest times, hold fast to the vision of who you are becoming. Don't give energy to the negative aspect of your story. The less you say about and perpetuate the old story, the sooner you'll create the new one. Keep focused on the continuum of your expansion and expression. See yourself as the evolutionary being that you are.
3. Engage in random acts of kindness. Even if it seems insignificant, devote yourself to giving selflessly. You may have lost things on the life adventure, but you have not lost your most precious resource: You! Share your gifts and talents and your joys and thrills. The more you share, the more that energy multiplies and ricochets back to you. The energy of giving is the most abundant force on the planet.
The adventure of awakening can get hairy, but at some point… You get real.You take on the adventure. The excuses and pointing of fingers ceases. You see your world clearly. You own what's yours and mend what you can. You're freer than you've ever felt before.
Self forgiveness is a power tool that frees your energy and unleashes your creative essence. It also puts you in the present moment, instead of the past. It liberates you from the chains of the old and positions you on the pathway to peace and promise.
PS Ready to dive into the peaceful pathway?