Category Archives for Inner Alchemy

What to Do When Things Fall Apart

Self care is the beginning of a lifelong adventure. We have only just begun!

You awaken to the majesty of life and your unique part in it. You stop treating yourself as an afterthought and begin to cherish yourself on a regular basis. You become as precious as those people and things you value most. 

You start introducing small changes to better care for yourself…

You start your day with reflection, perhaps meditation or journaling.
You begin to move your body again, walking or doing yoga.
You add healthier foods to every meal.
You relish and make time for your self care rituals.

It feels good, it feels right. It's as if you've tapped into a vein of truth that has always been with you. And you have.

But it's not all sunshine and roses. Inevitably, when you embark on the self care adventure things fall apart.

It might be a small rift in your world, like an unwelcome insight that was already lurking in the recesses of your mind but you weren't ready to admit it to yourself because that would mean you'd have to change something you'd rather not do right now.

Or, it might be something bigger, like the loss of a relationship. You might spiral into forgetfulness and suffer. You might wonder why on earth did you ever go down this path. After all, self care was supposed to make your world better!

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ”

~ Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

It isn't always easy to navigate the seas of change but it is always, always worthwhile. Here are three things to buoy you during times of turbulence:

1. Connect to your inner wisdom. Still the tsunami of emotions with your breath. Breathe deeply, fully. Take it all in and welcome it. Let it move you and shape you into a new being. Feel yourself embraced, in the arms of a loving universe. You are SO loved and so essential to the fabric of Life.

2. Share with a power pal. Sometimes all you need is a loving witness to line things up. A power pal is one who sees you truly. No victims or, “Poor baby!” here. My community is full of these awesome folks. Join the conversation and start connecting one on one with high frequency beings. You will find plenty of power pals here, guaranteed.

3. Act as if. Imagine that you are already the person you are longing to be. You are self expressed, emotionally resilient, infinitely creative. Pick your characteristics. Whatever it is that you are seeking to embody, invite it in right now. Call the full force of that energy into being and allow it to guide you in your thinking, feeling and actions. Be that being now.

Listen up, darlings! Self care is a deep journey. It is an awakening. It is good news that things are falling apart. Use your power of meaning maker and story shaper. Shift the framework of what you are experiencing and see the possibility.

(This is a practice that gets easier. Always choose to see the possibility, not the problem!)

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

~ Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times

Great things are at hand when your world falls apart. It is a clean canvas upon which to create the new.

Self care is the foundation for an extraordinary life. You were designed for greatness. Unleash the genius that lives within and bring that being to Life!

Image: Gearworld Suspension, Ursulav

3 Ways to Move Through Self Forgiveness

I grew up Catholic and am well versed on the specters of guilt and shame and the power of forgiveness. But unlike the lightness of absolution for one's sins, self forgiveness is sometimes a more arduous journey. It's filled with remorse and should have, would have, could have. It's ALL in the past, where you have no power.

The adventure of self forgiveness can also be one of discovery, wonder and joy. It can be a world of inspiration and insights, awareness and activation. You get to choose which world to inhabit. Which shall it be?

Here is one shift that can put your world into a positive tailspin right now: Reclaim your energy from the ‘hurts' you've experienced. Don't know how to do it?

How to Reclaim Your Energy Through Self Forgiveness:

This is a simple energy exercise that can help you reclaim the energy you might have given to beliefs and ideas about yourself that aren't really true:

  1. Feel It. Feel the hurt you've experienced at your own hands. Don't wallow, just feel. (And it's all yours, btw, even the hurt experienced at the hand of others)
  2. Give It a Form. Allow the hurt energy to take a shape or a form. It can even be words, make them 3D.
  3. Drop It In The Light Vortex. Imagine a vortex of light right in front of you (going down as far as the eye can see). Drop your hurts in. Let them drop, hurl them in, do a drop kick, deliver them as you please. Feel the lightness and openness that is now in their place.

It's easy to slip into judgment and point the finger at someone who's hurt you and make them wrong for it. Sometimes the perpetrator is you. Often the harshest treatment is reserved for your own lapse of light.

This being human gig takes practice. We are prone to make mistakes. It's how we learn. In order to create the amazing life that you know is possible you need to be willing to step into an active role as the architect of your world. It is in the claiming of your own creative power that self forgiveness can occur.

Self forgiveness is a tool that corrects perception. It reawakens your true sense of self and naturally and easily rights your world. Notice how good it feels to forgive. The heavy burden is lifted and you are restored to rightness and lightness.

Life is full of opportunities for self forgiveness, and it's crucial for your evolution. It actually changes your DNA.

The act of self-forgiveness changes the energy and physical structures of your cells, and of your DNA. Guilt is a very powerful and deadening emotion. Guilt in itself can, as it were, close down the energy systems of your body, and thereby lessen, and in extreme cases, cut off the flow of Divine Energy and Love to the body entirely. Because each and every one of your cells has consciousness, they too can carry the essence and energy of guilt within them that makes their energy denser.

~ John Payne

Now, more than ever, is a perfect time to lighten up, especially with your own lapses of light.

Here are 3 ways to move through self forgiveness:

1. Feel your feelings, but don't hold onto them. We all experience negative feelings: anger, fear, resentment. Welcome feelings, but then release them. The worst thing you can do is put those feelings on instant replay. It will only attract more of the same stuff. Let it in, then let it go. Feelings are part of the human experience. Allow them to inform you, not immobilize you.

2. Envision the Possible You. Especially during darkest times, hold fast to the vision of who you are becoming. Don't give energy to the negative aspect of your story. The less you say about and perpetuate the old story, the sooner you'll create the new one. Keep focused on the continuum of your expansion and expression. See yourself as the evolutionary being that you are.

3. Engage in random acts of kindness. Even if it seems insignificant, devote yourself to giving selflessly. You may have lost things on the life adventure, but you have not lost your most precious resource: You! Share your gifts and talents and your joys and thrills. The more you share, the more that energy multiplies and ricochets back to you. The energy of giving is the most abundant force on the planet.

The adventure of awakening can get hairy, but at some point… You get real.You take on the adventure. The excuses and pointing of fingers ceases. You see your world clearly. You own what's yours and mend what you can. You're freer than you've ever felt before.

Self forgiveness is a power tool that frees your energy and unleashes your creative essence. It also puts you in the present moment, instead of the past. It liberates you from the chains of the old and positions you on the pathway to peace and promise.

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