3 Steps to Unhook From Resentment

4086434974_b8f668cafc_oOne of the most powerful shifts that you can make is to reclaim your energy from the ‘hurts' that you've experienced from other people.

Let's face it, if you've been on the planet long enough you're sure to amass a number of resentments for what was said to you, done to you, or even not said or done to you. The litany of loss can become an insurmountable burden!

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Don Miguel Ruiz

What if it wasn't about you at all? What if those experiences were just mindless moments, when someone was ‘asleep' to the ripple effect of their words and actions?  And … can you say that you have never experienced that slumber yourself?

Think of the ‘oops!' times. When you said or did something and later on realized it was unkind, or even mean. We ALL experience moments of unawareness. The degree to which you flip in and out of it is totally dependent on your choice to awaken, to remember who you really are.

Here are 3 steps you can take when resentment rears it's shadowed head:

1. Acknowledge what is. This is the tricky part, if you just rely on your surface point of view – or how things look – you might miss the ‘real opportunity.' Take a moment to close your eyes and deepen your breath. Sink into the center of your being and notice that your surface awareness is just like the tip of the iceberg… it's not the whole story. Consider that there may be more going on than meets the eye, at first glance.

2. Surrender your judgment. When you judge another you are creating separation. When you are in separation you are in a state that is ‘not True' and from this perspective there can be no true connection and understanding. Think of the times when you made a quick judgment only to discover later that you were wrong. What if you approached judgment this way each time? You don't know the full story and can't if you are in separation. Take a moment to breathe, relax and expand your awareness until all of Life is contained within you, from that perspective you and the other are One! That is true! Take a moment to connect heart to heart, essence to essence. Feel the sensation of oneness that is there right below the surface.

3. Forgive the ‘perpetrator'. It's easy to slip into judgment and point the finger at someone who's hurt you and make them wrong for it. Sometimes you are ‘right' on the surface, but will that bridge the gap between you? Forgiveness is a tool that corrects perception. It reawakens your true sense of self and naturally and easily rights your world. Notice how good it feels to forgive. The heavy burden is lifted and you are restored to rightness and lightness. Take note that sometimes that perpetrator is you and often the harshest treatment is reserved for your own lapse of light.

Lighten up! It's an adventure, made richer by your experience. It's ALL good, even though it may not immediately feel so. Know that resentment is an opportunity to own your innate authority to partner with life and evolve! Say, “Yes!”

Feeling trapped by judgements, assumptions and resistance? Get the Free Your Essence Bonus Bundle Pack which includes my special report, “Free Your Essence: Discover How to Shift Your Energy So That You Are Free To Create What’s True” PLUS 10 guided visualizations sure to upgrade your energy.

Brought to you by Adela Rubio, Visionary Mentor and Coach.

Image: Just Those Rainy Days, Enkhtuvshin's 5Dmkll

  • Alisha says:

    Thanks Adela,
    I love how you unravel the ball of tangled twine. For me, I, also, find that I don’t want to forgive or let go because I’m trying to punish myself for doing something similar in a pasat life or this life. Gotta LoveLoveLove the compassion bell calling us to let go.

    Thanks for the reminder as always to look 360 for the answer.


    • Adela says:

      It’s a good reminder for me too, Alisha. As long as we’re on the planet this will happen, it’s our response that matters. Thanks for being that light for others too.

  • Dorene Madjemite says:

    Thank you for taking me back to a point of looking at my forgotten self, and allowing others to have their moment for I have had mine. It take one to understand that we are all still connected. The joy one finds when they learn how to overcome the hurt. Again thank you, for helping me know what I know. Smiling!(-_-) Dorene

  • I also just got that since we are all connected (we are One) that by opening our hearts to others, we are simultaneously loving ourselves.

    • Adela says:

      Those insights, just keep coming, Nat. 😉 Yes, and the more of us that ‘get it’ the more it is in consciousness and readily available to all. Talk about a ripple effect!

  • Adela, these are empowering reminders for helping us reclaim our energy and get back into flow. Holding resentments and grudges are ‘perfect’ ways to lock up our energy.

    I also believe that by being more gentle and compassionate with others through non-judgment and forgiveness, we can be more gentle and compassionate with ourselves.

    • Adela says:

      Thanks, Nat! Love your insight that in doing this with others we more easily come to place to be compassionate with ourselves. Yes.

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