energy trapped old agreements

3 Ways Your Energy Is Trapped By Old Agreements

Have you ever set an intention, even mapped out an action plan, to make a BIG change in your world – like start a business, leave a 20-year relationship, or get into shape after decades of inactivity – only to find yourself unable to make it happen?

What if it's not about your willingness, willpower or readiness? What if you just don't have the energy to bring that big change into being?

Imagine that making a change is like recording the tracks of a song on a CD, it does require energy to create those new grooves. After all, it took you a bit of time to create the old grooves.

Here's what Carolyn Myss has to say about your energy and how you use it:

Imagine that, when you get up in the morning, you have a hundred dollars' worth of energy coming in. And you have a memory that's costing you sixty dollars a day to finance, and an attitude that's costing you twenty-five dollars a day. By the time you're done, you've got three bucks left over to manage your biography today!

What I recognized is that your biography becomes your biology–you are one and the same with your life and your history. Events that you have not yet reconciled, haven't forgiven, haven't let go of, are carried as that debt in your cell tissue.

If you want to free up your energy so that you can create the big change you want to see in your world, take a look at your agreements. There are thousands of agreements you have made with yourself, your parents, your spouse, your children. There are also agreements that you have bought into through your culture and religion, but the biggest agreements are the ones you've made with yourself. These are the agreements that take a good amount of energy to sustain, the ones that dictate who you are, what you feel and believe, and how you behave. These agreements dictate the bandwidth of possibility in your world, and you may not realize that they are the reason you can't quite make the changes you're so eager for.

One single agreement isn't a big deal, but you have many agreements running the show. Think of these agreements like spyware, you may not even realize they're there. If you want to free your Essence and create the life you've envisioned you need to become aware of those agreements, and even rescind them, to reclaim your personal power.

Rescind, Renegotiate or Renew Your Agreements

Not all agreements are bad news. Agreements that are based on love actually generate energy, unlike fear-based agreements that rob you of your energy.

Think of your personal energy like the fuel tank in your car. The amount of fuel in your tank dictates how far you can travel. It's the same way with your personal power. You won't get very far if your energy is taken up with agreements that leave you on empty. Your personal power is dissipated by the agreements that no longer serve you. The result is that you have just enough to get you through the day, but not much more. When you're looking to break free from your regular orbit, it takes extra fuel. If you don't rescind old agreements, you'll feel powerless to make the changes that matter most.

When you make a choice, you change the future.
Deepak Chopra

If you don't like what's happening in your life, then it's time to change your agreements. Each time you break an agreement, all the power you used to create it returns to you. Here are 3 ways your energy is trapped in old agreements, and how you can change it:

  1. You keep agreements out of habit. These are the most insidious because you don't even realize that you have a choice until you realize there's a problem. It's become your default way of doing things, it's just the way things have always been. The key here is to choose awareness. It might show up as a tendency to complain and focus on what's wrong. You may not connect the dots until you start journaling, or a friend mentions something to you. Then you'll start noticing that your mother does the same thing and so does your partner. All of a sudden you become very conscious of negative talk, and you start noticing how much negative self-talk is going on in your own head all the time. Compassion and gentleness will go a long way towards helping you become even more aware. It's taken you decades to acquire these habits and a good many of them were passed onto you by those nearest and dearest to you. It will take some time and practice to create newer and healthier habits reinforcing these new agreements.
  2. You maintain agreements to please others.  When you find yourself participating in family traditions that you no longer enjoy, attending office parties because you feel obligated, or even making polite conversation with people you'd rather not engage with, you know it's time to rescind the agreement. If you're your heart isn't in it, then it's depleting your energy. Just say no. It doesn't have to elicit undue emotion. Be clear about what nourishes you and let go of what doesn't.
  3. You hold on to an agreement because you're afraid of who you'll be without it. This happens a lot when you're faced with the prospect of losing your job, when you're faced with divorce, or even a changing role in your family, like becoming a parent, or experiencing empty nest. Here's the thing, these changes are opportunities for you to become more of who you are. You are a highly complex being and will never be defined by any roles. Just like an actor on a stage, you have many roles to play and yet remain who you are.

Everything in life is negotiable, nothing is set in stone. It doesn't matter if it's a relationship, a job or an idea whose time has come. Review your agreements: rescind, renegotiate or renew. If it doesn't serve you, let it go. If it continues to call you into being, invite it into your life for another season.

The gift of your unfettered energy is priceless.

Fractal Energy, Brother Numsi


  • Debra Jason says:

    After my relationship ended 3 years ago, I thought about whether to stay where I was or move. I lived on the magical paradise of Kaua`i – a place that holds a piece of my heart. However, it wasn’t serving me. I felt alone & isolated yet couldn’t make a decision. I kept looking for a sign.
    I think part of my agreement was that, if I left was admitting failure (on many levels).

    After 2 1/2 years, I got a “sign” and still wasn’t 100% sure about moving, With the help of one of our mutual colleagues, I came to a decision. I decided to leave and return to the mainland.

    Now I need to explore some other agreements as it pushes my buttons when someone says “how could you have left paradise?” or “why would anyone leave Kaua`i?” While I miss the beautiful blue Pacific, the move back to the mainland has been a good one for me. Thanks Adela.

    • Adela says:

      It’s all about perspective, right Debra? For some Hawaii is paradise, for you it’s time had passed. Brave decisions and you know when they’re yours to make. 🙂 Thanks for checking in and sharing a ‘real world’ example of these agreements.

  • I refer to these agreements as BUI’s – Behaving Under the Influence. There is definitely a lot of accumulation of other people’s thoughts, behaviors, perceptions that you take as your own and become on ‘automatic pilot’ with.

    When you reach the level of awareness where you’re getting triggered left and right, say ‘thank you’. It gives you a chance to de-clutter and look at your own responsibility for ‘keeping the agreement’. You may have even brought more to the table in making your own agreements with others that you need to take responsibility for. When you entered with your own agenda of agreements, you may have clouded friendships, opportunities or relationships with the veil you picked up from past circumstance, culture, etc.

    And yes they are negotiable once you get back into you. Give yourself new vision with your new breath and flow.

    • Adela says:

      I like the perspective of receiving it with grace and reframing it as an opportunity to declutter. It’s the same attitude I take when I realize I have accumulated too many books. I don’t say, “Damn all these books!” I reflect on having amassed them (how they served me) and now it’s time to let them go. Thanks, Paula!

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