What to Do When Things Fall Apart

Self care is the beginning of a lifelong adventure. We have only just begun!

You awaken to the majesty of life and your unique part in it. You stop treating yourself as an afterthought and begin to cherish yourself on a regular basis. You become as precious as those people and things you value most. 

You start introducing small changes to better care for yourself…

You start your day with reflection, perhaps meditation or journaling.
You begin to move your body again, walking or doing yoga.
You add healthier foods to every meal.
You relish and make time for your self care rituals.

It feels good, it feels right. It's as if you've tapped into a vein of truth that has always been with you. And you have.

But it's not all sunshine and roses. Inevitably, when you embark on the self care adventure things fall apart.

It might be a small rift in your world, like an unwelcome insight that was already lurking in the recesses of your mind but you weren't ready to admit it to yourself because that would mean you'd have to change something you'd rather not do right now.

Or, it might be something bigger, like the loss of a relationship. You might spiral into forgetfulness and suffer. You might wonder why on earth did you ever go down this path. After all, self care was supposed to make your world better!

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ”

~ Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

It isn't always easy to navigate the seas of change but it is always, always worthwhile. Here are three things to buoy you during times of turbulence:

1. Connect to your inner wisdom. Still the tsunami of emotions with your breath. Breathe deeply, fully. Take it all in and welcome it. Let it move you and shape you into a new being. Feel yourself embraced, in the arms of a loving universe. You are SO loved and so essential to the fabric of Life.

2. Share with a power pal. Sometimes all you need is a loving witness to line things up. A power pal is one who sees you truly. No victims or, “Poor baby!” here. My community is full of these awesome folks. Join the conversation and start connecting one on one with high frequency beings. You will find plenty of power pals here, guaranteed.

3. Act as if. Imagine that you are already the person you are longing to be. You are self expressed, emotionally resilient, infinitely creative. Pick your characteristics. Whatever it is that you are seeking to embody, invite it in right now. Call the full force of that energy into being and allow it to guide you in your thinking, feeling and actions. Be that being now.

Listen up, darlings! Self care is a deep journey. It is an awakening. It is good news that things are falling apart. Use your power of meaning maker and story shaper. Shift the framework of what you are experiencing and see the possibility.

(This is a practice that gets easier. Always choose to see the possibility, not the problem!)

We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.

~ Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times

Great things are at hand when your world falls apart. It is a clean canvas upon which to create the new.

Self care is the foundation for an extraordinary life. You were designed for greatness. Unleash the genius that lives within and bring that being to Life!

Image: Gearworld Suspension, Ursulav

Adela Rubio

Adela's self care adventure began at twelve when she taught herself yoga from a book. She went on to co-own a health club, became a Certified Holistic Health Counselor, Life Coach and Associate Raw Foods Chef. She even did a Satsang with a Zen Master in India. Combining the best of many healing traditions, along with practical application of your own intuitive wisdom, Adela helps activate your experience of more everyday beauty and bliss.

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